Monday, October 23, 2006

Where do Honeydews Go For the Summer?

John Cougar Mellencamp! Badum-CHING!

I contend that his appearance before Game Two last night was the most uninteresting moment in World Series history. Who cares about John Mellencamp, anyway? Yeah, he had some hit songs back in the day, but the more I listen to them, the more boring they are. He's on my iPod, and I can't remember a time in the last year when I haven't immediately hit "next song" when he came up on Random.

But what was the point? No one wanted to hear his crappy song; we hear it two dozen times every Sunday during football. Not to mention, it's a shitty song. It's generic, contrived, and a last-ditch effort to make some money before everyone realizes he's completely washed up. Plus, didn't he cover that base with "Ain't That America"?

So John tops the "Fuck you" list of Game Two. The rest:

Kenny Rogers: Of course he's up there. I still want to see him start on the road, but that's not going to happen.
Jeff Weaver: For looking like the Weaver of old after looking like his younger self in the Mets series.
Albert Pujols: Dude, we're depending on you for the upset of the year. You're killin' us here.