Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Time To Visit the Garden

The Yankees start in a half-hour, giving me ample time to complain about my favorite topic: the New York Knickerbockers. That rascally GM was up to it again, using the Knicks only means of player acquisition to land Jared Jeffries. Allow me to set this to an analogy:

Isiah:Shitty Players::Crakhead:Crack

To be fair, Jeffries may not be a shitty player, per se, but he’s certainly not a player who can help this Knicks team. News of Isiah’s interest broke a few weeks ago, to which I responded, “who? Oh, thaaaaat guy.” At which point I realized that we’re now committing $12 million per year to the alliterative tandem of Jared Jeffries and Jerome James. I absolutely foresee Walt Frazier referring to Jerome Jeffries and Jared James early in the season.

At this point, the Knicks only hope is that they come down with Three Stooges Syndrome. The problem with that is even a slight breeze could…

Indestructible.

Let’s look at some quotes from Isiah to shed some light on this matter:

"One of the things that was written and said was true about us: chemistry wasn't right. What Jared brings to us more so than talent, he brings chemistry.”

If that chemistry is in the form of a Mr. Wizard Science set, I am totally on board.

"His ball-handling skills are pretty unique for a player of his size, and his passing skills are pretty unique," Thomas said. "He's pretty complete as a player. Every night you can mismatch your lineup.”

So he’s pretty…unique? Though that’s not nearly as hilarious as his assertion that you can “mismatch your lineup.” You sure can, Isiah. You sure can.

The article then goes on to more standard Isiah bullshit, about how this one guy is going to make all the difference, blah blah blah. Let me all remind you of what Isiah said last year at the signing of Jerome James:

“When I look at Jerome, the first thing I see is his shot-blocking ability, presence, and ability to clog up the middle -- and that is what we lacked last year,” President, Basketball Operations Isiah Thomas said. “We needed a space eater. We also needed some intimidation in the middle. Well, we definitely have a presence in the middle now. He provides all of that.”

It was Benjamin Franklin who famously said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” One of our forefathers would have believed that Isiah Thomas is insane. Who are you to disagree?