Friday, June 09, 2006

Can't Even Type the Score


PlayerWEPitcherWE
Williams.094Smith.001
Cano.087Small.001
Damon.067Erickson-.038
Cairo-.022Proctor-.096
Stinnett-.031Wright-.199
Posada-.037
Giambi-.058
Cabrera-.081
A-Rod-.188

(What's this?)

It sucked. That’s all I have to say. I had to sit next to some stupid guy routing for the Sox even though he’s a Mets fan. Honestly, there is nothing worse in the baseball world. Hate the Yankees if you will, and I will understand completely when you do. But to act like you’re a goddamn Red Sox fan for seven innings of a game, only to finally admit, “well, I don’t really like the Red Sox; I’m a Mets fan,” makes you look like a complete and utter dolt.

This guy also apparently has friends working with or playing on every professional sports team. Claims like this discredit you completely when you’re sitting at an Applebee’s bar. Plus, he had quite a large gray afro, complete with the bald spot on top. If I’ve learned anything in my 24 years on this planet, it’s that child molesters have wispy mustaches, and crazy dudes have big hair with a bald spot.

Two of three is always acceptable, but with the score 3-1 in the sixth, there was absolutely no excuse to not finish the sweep. Note to Joe Torre: Jaret Wright has been all fine and good lately, but he can only last five innings. Maybe this will become less of a problem with Octavio Dotel returns, as we can go Proctor, Farnsworth, Dotel, Mo after Jaret gets pulled for the sixth. Of course, that will never happen.

If I think of something good later today, I’ll post it. I’m on deadline and have a 1,500 word article on assisted living communities due by the end of the day. I have 600 down on paper at this point, but after I scrutinize it to the bone, it’ll end up under 500. Whoo hoo! One thousand words to write tomorrow!

Derek Jeter, where art thou?